so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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