Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
