the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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