Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am naked and annoyed.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
