Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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