I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
