we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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