So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize