Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize