I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I've blown a few things in my day
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
