If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
