I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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