I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize