So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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