guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
