she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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