And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
