The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
