operation have a gay friend backfired
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
