I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
