is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Boobs are out for the taking
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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