Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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