the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
