you lied. pity sex is amazing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
