IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
