So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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