dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Randomize
