Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
