We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
