it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
