yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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