I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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