Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
