Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
