I will die if light touches me.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize