We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
