Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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