you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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