Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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