If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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