yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
