I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
