the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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