Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
