he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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