Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
