Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This baby is an asshole
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
