my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She bit a glass in half.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
