how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
