i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
