i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
