***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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