very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
