I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
