i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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