It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
