I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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