We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
