i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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