So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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