We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
